Daddy God's beloved child
well, starting on thurs! planned to write the music for the drama trailer in the night.. (after a week long break), and i just decided to msg aileng.. and when i did, turned out that the trailer didn't get enough time for announcements..so.. my time was freed up! what's more was supposed to go for a dinner, which was thankfully cancelled. so. praise God haha. could rest and slept early.
friday jack came. we only started mixing the stuff pretty late, so when we ended 3quarters of it.. it was already like 1230am. =_= and had glitch when we wanted to do the file transferring. in the end i kept trying to wake up him, in vain. he stayed over, and.. i slept at 3plus finishing up for the rehearsal.
went ard 4 places on sat.. but interestingly i really had supernatural rest and strength for all of them. most. family day at the navy ship was pretty cool. all the high tech defence stuff. after that my mum gave me a lift to kallang, but i dropped off before that to get a drink and take a slow walk.. just needed to rest. and pray in tongues n talk to God a bit. and i was early. but when i reached, this lady linda started talking to me, encouraging me.. her faith is so simple. like, when she's at her wits end, she just says, i duno what to do, Lord you provide..or Lord you do it, and then she waits. and when the things come, they come really fast! everything just falls into place so easily. i think that's the flow of God, the rhythm of grace.
the chinese min people are really really warm. anna will keep coming to my side to talk to me cos i just stay at the corner lol. but i happened to talk to another girl jennifer.. gradually abt her daughter liking music and wanting to do math n science nxt time. and she'd just asked God to provide a math tutor for her son. so.. i shall wait on the Lord a bit but i think it'll be a pretty gd opportunity, giving tuition. :) later aileng also came to talk.. she'd worked in mediacorp before as a director. like, what i'm interested in, the industry. but was gd to know more, the pros and cons. the cons-19hour shifts. packed weekends. hardly being able to rest, nor serve. the pros - the great satisfaction.
i think i just found it very.. happy that suddenly so many people came up to me to talk to me. tho all new, still getting to know people.. but, i felt loved. and, it's also after i asked God in the bath.. i think i'm not spending enough time with my friends. who are my friends now!! haha. i needed interaction.. and, here is the sweetness of answered prayer. truly, it's not what we do, but He just gives so simply when we ask. and the feeling carried on when i went for arrow.. at... like 620pm, and sat at the side. was a different experience, i enjoyed it, just being away from the crowd and not serving, just free to worship with hands lifted up, not caring abt anyone around me nor how i looked to anyone haha. times like this, qt precious.
well, long day resulted in dozing off at adeline's dance performance. lol. and today's morning sermon.
today was another.. surprising one. or at least, special. i only practiced my songs last night for a while. but there was a flow esp during 1st service. and after worship and svc.. so many people came up to tell me that i played really well. and it was pple like wendy, pastor dan, dcn jack, jason, paul.. paul gave a great analysis haha. he could rmb what i played and said that.. it really brought out the meaning of the particular song, or brought the spirit of worship. pastor said, whatever i'm doing, i'm doing it right. hahahaha. then i was trying to think of what i was doing right on the way home. and couldn't think of anything! maybe when we just trust and depend on Him to play through us and for His anointing, because.. that's what gives such good fruits, good results. i'd felt like it had been not bad, but with the encouragement and affirmation, heh. it makes it just so easy to know that God's anointing is on me. and nothing can take it away. it's already in us. we just have to live life and walk and it flows out.
alrighty. need to teach my sister math now.
05:58 p.m.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
had a great weekend. qt an amazing weekend.
okay this is gonna be a super long post. :)
i slept fewer hours this weekend than ever before, but the Lord really gave me supernatural strength, or rest, to accomplish everything i needed to do.
Friday, February 5, 2010
And those who turn many to righteousness
Like the stars forever and ever.
7 Then I heard the man clothed in linen, who was above the waters of the river, when he held up his right hand and his left hand to heaven, and swore by Him who lives forever, that it shall be for a time, times, and half a time, and when the power of the holy people has been completely shattered, all these things shall be finished.
10 "Many shall be purified, made white, and refined, but the wicked shall do wickedly; and none of the wicked shall understand, but the wise shall understand. ..."
Just a little something that I liked. Maybe because I searched my name either online or on some wooden block, and that first verse came up. elaine shall be a shining light. haha. But this is to those who are wise, they shall shine, and turn many to righteousness. I'd like that. But need wisdom.. and a fresh revelation of Jesus' righteousness right now, my complete, everlasting righteousness. And give me Your wisdom, more wisdom every day.
"In the time that the power of the holy people has been completely shattered,.. many shall be purified, made white, and refined..."
I see this as an end to self. not sure who the holy people are, but we can see that our own human power and strength is shattered - it comes to nothing. It only produces human, natural results.
so, we welcome any breaking and shaking. because it brings us to none of self, but all of Christ in us.. that we may fully depend on Him. And depend fully on His favor, not our smarts or what good we see. Think I've been depending on some parts of myself, even like being on a platform ministry. lol. But if I mix that, it's giving lip service to God's favor that is by grace. Who I am is primarily just a child of God, in Christ.
well anw. on wed i was doing my work on the lousy school computers. lol. they've been giving me trouble for a while, keep crashing or hanging. but i anointed my hands yesterday before i started. and still moved from like 4 computers because they all had some glitch.. earphones can't work, hang, cpu not enough power...
then after an hour plus, suddenly my lecturer came in with another guy and started keeping all the expensive M-boxes. and said we're moving down! So i was the first in the class to be able to use a fresh new super good working computer.... YAY! it doesn't crash anymore! and what's more, the lecturer extended the deadline for our project. aha.
krystal came in later too. we made friends with the security guard, Robert, who is so funny and so cute. he came to chase us out two nights and had this ah? mildly horrified expression on his face.. but we were nice to him and so he was also nice to us hahaha. tho we were still chased out. was trying to get him to say he's Thai, but he said he liked English pop songs. James Taylor. lol. maybe we can play it for him on the piano next time! Krystal is such a dear too, so sweet and gave me her cookie lol. I'm glad I met her in this class. :)
08:37 a.m.
13 “Remember the word which Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, saying, ‘The LORD your God is giving you rest and is giving you this land.’
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Joshua 1:13 (New King James Version)
11:46 p.m.
well, been listening to Hiromi Uehara's Green Tea Farm.
Before I went to sleep last night. In the morning. In the library. Right now. lol. It's poignant. might be a bit blue. But, though how beautiful, sometimes it makes me quieter too. But I dun mind just enjoying it these few days.
Went for leaders' mtg just now, an additional partaking of their good food =) privileged to be asked to go there and receive.
This is the rest and refreshing.
So. Amen. I'm more encouraged, and reminded to do so, and be conscious that it's a powerful thing, though sometimes it seems that nothing happens.
and wisdom. which I need but haven't really been asking. and favour.
favour with Jessie. :) That she'll favour us, have a desire in her heart to join us, otherwise we buy her presents for nothing. lol! But yeah. Let her come because she will be blessed here. But Lord, as I pray, I trust that you're giving me wisdom, bringing me to do the right thing at the right time, at the right place. I won't have to worry that I'm not where I'm supposed to be. And Lord, that you stir up wisdom and discernment, and bring ease into it, a flow into it. Even the right time to msg her (or others), the right times to send an encouraging note. I ask that her heart be softened toward you, and be open toward You, and to us. Thank u Lord. :)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Take heed what you hear.
Today Joe preached, on praying in tongues.
As we pray in tongues, we stir up, rekindle the flames. It might take a while to kickstart, but eventually it bursts into flames.
And as we stir up this gift from God, it brings wisdom and discernment. Whatever we need then.
11:00 p.m.
we're doing the more classic flow these days, which is really nice actually. older songs have a lot of depth of meaning in their lyrics. pastor benjamin was there during the first service. after, i was at the monitor room during 2nd svc waiting for altar call, talking to ray. then pastor benjamin came over with c. hj. came over to talk to ray, but also me i think ahha! asked me if i was still studying, and what i was studying. i said math.. then he said, oh... i only know two people who did math. one is you.. and the other is my wife. lolz. i'm in gd company!
anw he was talking to ray about this other talented guy who'd been in our church serving before. talented and anointed. but he left for another church, almost became one of the leading music people there i think. but then the last they heard, he'd moved to another church again. and he said, these kind of people, will keep looking and moving from this one to that. (i think that's what he said). so i just mentioned, will it change?
so wow. faithfulness is really impt. no matter how u are.. faithfulness is a great indicator of a person's character and what he does.
joined seb and jw for lunch after serving (seb had brought 2 friends, but we hung around after they left. jianwei took like more than 1hr to eat i think!!) were sharing, and seb mentioned about the new outreach ministry he'd joined. and.. amid the other troubles and things happening, with this new outlet, i rmbed the conversation with pastor ben. so i told him, just be faithful to what God's given to you, don't quit, stick with it through the ups and downs. amid correction.
jw then asked.. what does being faithful mean to us?
and in correction.. the people we see who are awesome right now (we mentioned taurus, and an dien), apparently received a lot a lot of correction last time. lol. in the end it's your response to it. and jw said, now he sees a lot of anointing on an dien when he speaks. but there was a process.
this reminds me of one of the leaders' mtgs where pastor benjamin was sharing on faithfulness. Here is an excerpt from my notes:
The Lord wants us to be a faithful generation.
God is more concerned with who you are than what you do. What kind of person do you want to be?
Luke 16: He who is faithful with the least will be given much. Be faithful with money. If you aren't faithful in what is another man's, how can you be with your own? But if you can be, God will give you your own, in its time. It may take many years, like Ruth. But she was honorable and did what was right, in being faithful to her mother.
lastly.. When you're self-absorbed, you can't be faithful. But when you're Christ absorbed, you are released.
faithfulness. :)
pastor's msg was on not to worry, once more. can ponder why since the beginning of the year he's been preaching along these lines. nevertheless, it's a really good msg, and a now-word again to me the one who's been easily falling into worry. the more you rest, the more you'll see God's supply of grace in your life! worry only hinders, strangles the pipe through which the blessings and provisions are always flowing through. so let go, and it'll flow.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Was serving morning today.. woke u at 515! haha. and managed to find something nice to wear, my mum's recommendation.
and he said, yes, if he is faithful.
for me, it was sticking by smthg, not quitting, not leaving it unless quite clearly things point that that's not where God wants me to be.
but jw said smthg refreshing.. to him, it was knowing that God was faithful to him, because he knew he couldn't really be faithful. (jw is probably the most faithful person i know!) so he just rmbs that when he fails, God is always there for him, faithful to him. and like the groom who woos the bride, he knows the Lord will always woo him back with love. it's not up to us to find him, but know that He's always wooing us.
The work of the faithful leads to zoe life.
A faithful man abounds with blessings. Faithfulness is what God desires.
shortsightedness is robbing people of fruitfulness. It brings them riches or some success, but not fruitfulness. They change jobs quickly, because they only see today and tmr.
but the bible says: who can find a faithful man?
It requires perseverance. it might not be easy. but be a fighter! There is a fight to be faithful.
faithfulness is God's way.
a faithful person is full of honor always. Favor goes hand in hand with faithfulness. It requires humility.
10:00 p.m.
nah. the internet will never replace the real thing. the real person.
i feel like having springy maggi noodles in my mouth....
today i met this uncle robert on the mrt. he was my mum and dad's cgl, but he didn't rmb me when i waved to him. but was friendly anw. he asked me abt my course, and what i wanted to work next time... tho i dun really want to do math next time. my cohort mates have a lot more interest for it i think heh. so he said, when we go out to work, the only time we'll need our grades and credentials is when they first hire you.. after that, they'll never look at your grades again. it'll be on your own character, personality. whether u're responsible, capable, and interpersonal skills. how u manage people.
i found that more interesting. how we manage people.. it's smthg i'd like to have.. cos i think i'm not v gd at it hahaha. many times i feel i say the wrong stuff, or try to qualify what i say after that. or, be too nice and not effective. or just jump the gun and speak too fast. well, i know i need the holy spirit when i speak, and handle whatever's needed. but one thing he said, was that.. hey we go to church, where there's a lot of good teaching. and when we know grace.. we're able to see differently. as we've received grace, we can also extend grace. and also to see them as Christ sees them. many times we have to handle superiors, or juniors. some people might not be able to take correction well. but for us, because we can see it differently, with grace inside, there'll be a difference when we handle things. i guess not as judgmental (i may be), but as authority that God has placed over us. as sheep that are a bit lost and need prodding in the right direction.
actually. i guess just do it as unto the Lord. after all. what we do is supposed to glorify Jesus. what kind of satisfaction will we get.. a good day's work? enjoying ourselves? yes.. and through all, the greatest will be knowing that He has been with us throughout it all. where He has meant us to be at, to go to.
hardly did anything today haha. in terms of work. went to sch for cg in the end, just watch funny videos darrell put up on his multiply. came upon cecilia's blog when she happily came into the room looking like sakura, warrior princess (with bangs and a long long ponytail. so cute. cecilia is the sweetest girl.) cg was okay. sometimes funny..lol. at one point a little heavy. my friend needs to let go and stop holding on to not nice things that happened to him. to forgive people and.. let go of his failures. haha. only he will feel rejected when i tell him not to wash dishes for me.
prayer at the end. as jw prayed, i just imagined Jesus coming to fully embrace me. His face shining, beaming, bright eyed. where i walk, He walks next to me. where I walk, there's favor, an open heaven.. even the trees clap their hands in praise for my Savior. when I have Him by my side, there's no room for fear. just trust. total righteousness, which came from total forgiveness.
when we have troubles, we become self-occupied. selfish. i need a bigger heart. one gd thing. after a while of unrest as i wasted time, get stuck and have to redo things.. wed marked a day i stepped into rest. i think. haha. let go. my presentation went well. i redid my piece one more time the next day, but this time without a frown but just doing it slowly, step by step. i met clara joy. it's just funny that i meet her just after i sit next to cliff. i get tagged in facebook pics one after another, he, then clara. maybe just a coincidence. but here's a lovable girl, wouldn't mind getting to know her more. :)
girls' night out next week!!! woohoo!! hope everyone can make it.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
in a quiet mood, and don't feel like sleeping. just sitting in front of the tv, talking to esther abt a korean drama as we both sit and watch it together... just in different places. qt fun. no need to go house and watch and eat chips. can still connect lol. the wonders of technology.
02:00 a.m.
one nice thing that i wanna rmb..
Thursday, January 21, 2010
wednesday midweek was tonight, with ray bevan. really humorous. really funny. but also really anointed, i felt that the Word he shared was awesome. God uses burnt stones.. and there's no plan B, go back to plan A. where you fail, at the same place He'll pick u up. gently, for our Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger.. ever loving. What a loving God we have.
during rehearsal yesterday, while we were all closing eyes and praying in tongues, jen nudged me and asked me to flow.. so i just did something, on the keyboard whose sound i hadn't really liked yet, with some warm pad. just flowed, cos i didn't really know what to play for a praying in tongues session then.. steady? or flowing up and down.. i opted for the latter anw haha.
after my set was done and i'd left.. angie msged me, a really sweet msg.
"hi babe your playing was so anointed just now during our prayer time. :) really blessed me :) thanks!"
"very anointed! you are anointed babe. don't let enemy lie to you:)"
today after praise n worship and in the conference room, jen came in for a while to say abt flowing in one part.. could have done more tho it was still nice. then as we were walking, he suddenly mentioned yesterday's prac again.. he said that once i started playing, then he could feel he anointing come into the room.. and that it was good.
it's just awesome, and i felt very loved after that. esp with that burnt stone msg.. i'm like that burnt stone, and i have nothing, and sometimes i feel like i'm nothing; who i am that God will choose to let me be one of the anointed people, musicians, that He'll greatly use? I rmb pastor prince also ever looked at me once during a leaders' retreat and asked me if i could flow. and he looked at me, and not at the other keyboardists who were there.. so i believed it was for me, that there really is special grace for me in this area.
i step out with boldness and freedom. to just do what i love. and love it as i'm doing it. and i know that as I do so.. He'll increase what I lack. so i don't need to fear of falling short. I'm always well protected and secure in Him.
well we had dinner after that.. (hungry!!) twister fries a macs :))) hahaha. happened to sit next to taurus and started sharing with him halfway thru.. he's really someone whom God has placed a lot a lot of wisdom. and carries weight. whenever he speaks i feel that it's always such a now-word, and a word of wisdom.. not too much, not too little.. but just exactly what i need to hear and what is wise to do. even though he's not my cgl anymore, the anointing is so evident in him. really someone i can trust and know that he is reliable (jianwei says, whatever taurus says he'll do..u can rest assured he'll do it till the end). qt awesome eh? I wanna be like that too. to be a heavyweight, glory.. in words of wisdom and accuracy. eventually. haha. i just wanna be free to say whatever i want. but trust that all the things are good.. cos out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, yes? don't need to worry abt what we say. but our heart has always been in preparation.. it flows out.
last presentation tmr. :) Daddy God bless and multiply my sleep. :) thank You for a great night.
01:46 a.m.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
value rest
11:02 a.m.
and if we don't believe.. it's not really a case that it's tough to believe. more likely.. we're not hearing enough. it's a now-word for me, because.. i haven't been hearing enough haha.
sunday msg was also similar. a reminder of the importance of the Word.. to just commit that start to Him, to get ur inside flowing with peace and joy and rest before you embark. to wait.
met a new girl today - Joyce, Grace's sister. Graceful Grace from math.
oh anw
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
loved what pastor keith preached on sat.
the one sentence i rmb
Hear. Believe. Speak.
to hear the small still voice inside u prompting u what to do, where to go.. the next step to take. where the life and peace is. haha. that's from today. a lot of times it's myself telling me where to go. my own desires. but.. when will we believe that it's because God loves us, that's why He prompts us gently, guides us. even in smthg against what we'd want for now. but it's His love for us, greater. for He sees His master plan.
her sister is quite different. lol. younger. but the unique thing is that she plays classical piano and actually wanted to go YST to take a music degree, prob in performance. was interesting, the first such girl i've met in singapore. reminds me that there are actually quite a lot of people interested in music nowadays. haha. finding the avenues, and its lucrativeness. anw she's v bubbly and talks quite a lot lol.
hamish brown has a new wife! his third
so i asked her.. why do couples divorce?
and her answer was.. marriage is about forgiveness, a series of forgiveness. sometimes to make matters well, one party should just give in. and a lot of couples these days don't, they think that.. why should I give in when I'm not in the wrong? so... that's how things go..more self interest. and also that een if u have v different personalities, it could also still work out.. perhaps people are getting too impatient.
like last week.. the urban day hahahaha. which i shared to my cg guys.
Urban article.. about why men cheat. got qt a few people wrote in.. a few married ones, and one in particular, a single man. who seemed to really love his girlfriend, and she loved him a lot too. and as she was more a proper girl, they wanted to save up for marriage.. but well, he was approached by this groupie during an event. who basically.. let him have a physical affair. but the funny thing to me was that, he actually did love his girlfriend a lot, 'adored her', in his words. yet he still went to do that kind of thing.
well. he's a weak man!!! haha. he'll probably do it again. even tho he stopped for now and says he won't tell his gf cos it'll break her heart.
which somehow was a real interesting link to a sermon i caught the previous night...
joshua harris - courtship is a community project
(here my cg guys all.. 'what??? are u kidding me....')
but after hearing him out. it made pretty good sense. it's ok and probably good for 2 people to go out by themselves.. to know each other more, find out their values. but on a community level.. it's good to build each other up. to prepare them on the insides, to handle the things that'll come up.
like married men.. to look after a family. etc. i think even this (fidelity and protecting urself, running away from temptation) is a gd aspect. i'm sure every man feels it..so, run from there! (that was our conclusion)
and women. hahaha. pertaining more to me. hmmm. i guess. to handle a household. look after kids. handle bills, accounts, finances. upkeep the house and get along well with relatives. haha.
well, it was a bit weird that it was me telling the guys. but oh wells. it was pretty funny. anw it's gd la. build them up as strong men! of conviction, not convenience. :) somehow, will always rmb that. glad for them, my awesome cg, always makes me alive and smile.
01:22 a.m.
otherwise. it's been an enjoyable day. went to school just for devo. but it turned out well. on God's favour - preferential treatment.
first week of school is over. i want to enjoy it. my yst module has mellowed down - we're doing a remix, but good thing is, it's living up to its 2mc credits, meaning that we're taking a slow time to get things done, perfectly fine for me cos i wanna spend less time there than my other projects. math!
more As this final semester.
anw, was pretty chillout this evening walking back. (to maximize my time in sch, i crashed taurus's lecture, and actually managed to start studying there. haha. i needed different distractions). was nice to catch up a little little bit after qt a long while.
this has been pretty random.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
right now waiting for my chinese new year mp3s to upload. Think i'm spending too much time on music though. when i actually need to start on my hyp, the notes,plus questions to get down to.
preferential treatment to me... was God spending time with me. saying to me things that i felt was really the now-word for me, whatever i needed at that point of time. be it a sermon on my ipod, or mum speaking to me, or urban articles and more sermons. when things coincide it's pretty cool. we later talked about being conscious/thanking God for giving us favour thus far.
so, walking back, up my long road. path, with lush green trees swaying, lining it. greeting me. nice breeze.
and bill evans - midnight mood in my ears.
very nice.
but finally my uploading is gonna be complete. about 7 tracks. lotsa space.
byes
12:03 a.m.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
wow. it's just awesome to have a blog starting up again. and the feeling that i can write ALMOST anything i want.
10:10 p.m.
So hence the question. And was praying in tongues today too (more so after reading about Haiti). So, the question came back to me.. what do I want to see?
All these things before me right now?
what do I want to see?
I want to live a blessed abundant life. A life that.. is happy. Is full of life. Where I am full of energy and love life and see good days. To live enjoying my work, my math, my music. To have the time of my life. To not worry about this and that but know that so much more is in store.
okay and 5 years down the road..
10 years down the road
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Well I was walking home and just asked God if He could put things in my mind. give me something to meditate on. It's only the first week of school and I already feel like.. a lot of things are happening! But I don't really wanna live all the time like this, it's kinda tiring.
I want to see what God has in store for me. because I know He loves me and has a wonderful plan for me. He's seen my entire life, and declares it to be awesome.
I wanna see what happens to the church. What He does in the church, what He does for my family, for my friends, for me. For the world. I want to see Him working through it all. I wanna see the fruits of His work, because it's great.
I want to see the reality of His gospel in my life. That I will grow, and looking back, find myself younger than before, more glorious than before, more rested in Him and His finished work. Peaceful loving days. A light wherever I go.
my sister will prob be qt a looker in her jc or poly then. But. that she will remain full of laughter, smiles, and fun. and all of our family remain close.
My mum, surrounded by friends, good counsel, active, loving life more abundantly.
George. probably with a girlfriend. Having an awesome time in church and in the music min.
Dad.. loving life and relaxing. laughing more. taking things less seriously. with more friends.
my career.. i wanna do work like karen does. like. write music, well. write using the latest softwares. to be as good as I can be here. Well, and to actually see God in my work. leading me step by step, hand in mine. Bringing more stuff and resources. Bringing more refinement. Bringing more skills. more opportunities. Bringing more videos. Bringing meaning into what I'm doing, that it is for a purpose, not for nothing.
Well, this is actually cool for the 5-year plan as well haha.
Wanna see myself in a good relationship with my family and my friends. And hopefully with a husband-to-be. A good man. Loving, generous, kind, full of grace and with wisdom and boldness. humorous and able to take things lightly. Able to take me at my worst. and still love me deeply and know Jesus holds us together.
To see life through rose-coloured glasses. His eyes.
To see lots of good.
To be unrestricted, able to give generously.
To be generous. Loving and kind.
To love.
To have sweet words, gracious words on my lips. To have wisdom in my heart.
Discernment, prudence, wisdom. Understanding, tact, EQ.
To have a kind disposition, yet firm.
Fearless. Bold. Encouraging. Uplifting.
To bring life and blessing wherever I go. To bring a welcoming and loving spirit.
To be skilled.
Favoured, well loved.
Living a blessed abundant life, full of peace, rest, and His joy. Good days. With the blessing of the Lord with me. I am successful. I prosper. I'm blessed.
08:33 p.m.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
WOW!
This is going to be revived.
For who knows how long. :) haha. It's kinda nostalgic to come back here.
From the time past: the fonts are so super small.
And I like another layout but can't find the code.
Still.
Here's a little place where not many know. Or probably, no one knows. So it's pretty cool.
06:33 p.m.