Saturday, November 18, 2006
btw i've moved! seems like i'm writing more at this other place: http://elaineslf.multiply.com
11:31 p.m.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
i just realised there's qt a lot of stuff i've to do.. and haven't really paid attention to the past weeks.. mainly my js and PC modules. project and essay.. been putting it off, but now it's due in 2weeks so i realised.. hmm i should put more attention and time there haha instead of other less important things. time management n priorities haha.
12:39 a.m.
Saturday, October 7, 2006
think i shall take a long break from this blog... moving to http://elaineslf.multiply.com =)
11:10 a.m.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
this pic is on webshots, suuper cute! baby blue eyes.
09:54 a.m.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
apple green is my favourite color! i love green. lime green. apple green. i love apples.
okay that was random haha.
anws. had been praying during my shower, a long one.. of the things that's been on my mind. thank You Jesus, i know that once i've prayed, u hear and You answer.. i know that my problems are but so small to You and it'll be so easy for u to finish up. You have the last word in my life.
But because You have heard my prayers, I will rest. I will trust in You, that You know my ways, that You love me forever and ever.. and You have planned what's the BEST for me! so let not my heart be troubled man.
i think when i keep thinking about things that are probably of this world, with little of Jesus on my mind.. that's when the unrest comes.. but truly it's only Jesus that satisfies. that's probably why i dun feel satisfied haha. how to let not these distractions come in between me and my Jesus? He's the lover of my soul, the romantic that woos me all the time. the one who loves me in a way that no one else can.. who is everything to me and everything for me. who gives me everything freely and rewards me for small things even when i don't feel i deserve it! this is unmerited favour alright, grace in person. that's what it is for the upcoming fort canning concert. i'm like one of the newest regular keyboardists in the sat band, and to be put to play for such a big scale thing, it's really a privilege. haha! i will have to trust God to anoint me that day man. so many things are new, even the worship leader, but yes, if everything that day's just going according to what He has planned for us and what He has in store for us, should be no trouble =)
Jesus, help me let go of everything i don't need in my mind.. just clear it and refresh and restore it. i wanna be like i was in.. j2! the best time, listening and taking in Your word every morning and receiving greatly. being at rest and at peace. or another time when i was at esplanade.. with michelle, but when i was by myself, i felt so in love. i could feel Jesus standing beside me as i watched the Indonesian pianist performing the styles that i love.. because that's the very style that i wanna play for myself, and that He was enjoying it was much as i was. it was really a so-in-love feeling, first time in my life. woohoo. wonderful. on cloud nine.
10:35 p.m.
Monday, September 11, 2006
thank You Jesus just abt 5-10 min after writing that previous entry i've finally finished my first assignment!! yay. i managed to find out where the error was.. thanks to huiling, the newest person i've met in sch haha. talked to her today in my CS tut class. praise the Lord. =)
this reminds me of yesterday night while we were trying to find a carpark space. we sat and waited in the car (mark joan alwin and me) at al azhar, as the carpark was really qt full, many pple there on a sunday night. so i just said 'Jesus pls give us a parking lot!' cos my mum always says that, and we always get a good one. and like.. only a few min (2?) after that suddenly a car in front of us got out and we got the parking space! hallelujah man =)) Jesus is so faithful and gracious.
10:24 p.m.
Monday, September 11, 2006
i'm taking a break.. been working on the computing lab assignment for a few hours. dunno why i can't get it! i can't really figure out what the errors are either. gah. and msn's down, can't ask for help.. tho probably few pple who know abt it would be online too. but at least i could share with someone! ahh.
Jesus, i need your wisdom and understanding. Give to me a peaceful spirit, put me to rest in You. Restore my energy and strength, and open my eyes to see whatever i need to see. Since You've put me here to do this particular module, i know that You have the grace to teach me!!! You sent ur spirit down to teach my ALL things. Like with the 5 loaves and 2fishes, i know that You are able to multiply whatever i have in my hand now with plenty left over. You are the God of grace, thank You Jesus, i receive all U want to supply to me.
Jesus I belong to You
You're the reason that I live, the reason that I sing
with all I am.
anw i was just reading my past entries. haha! i seem to blog only when i'm frustrated with my work. otherwise.. been on a standstill for qt a while. hmm maybe cos it's when i come to the end of myself that i can't do any more work.. so i write. otherwise, when good things happen.. perhaps i should write them down here to rmb haha.
09:54 p.m.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
i am qt irritated with drjava. how can a simple computer application test so much patience?? a simple coursemarker application. i had to move my files from drive to drive, remove, and reinstall programs so that they can work!! ahhh. it has taken up mroe time than i'd have liked. it is the most irritating application i have ever encountered!!!! i have 3 folders: cmc, jdk and drjava. if jdk isn't in my C: drive, the cmc thing can't open. if jdk is in my c: drive, my drjava can't open! ah. i'm going for bs, i need help.
05:28 p.m.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
today i suddenly felt a bit overwhelmed by the seemingly large workload i have. feel like though during lectures it seems understandable, i tend to forget what i learn during the lects n need to read thru again. n the textx are really long. it's more than one subject!! haha. i shall prepare more work to bring to sch so that can do during breaks.
but today i just flipped my bible and it turned to psalm 20. it was like everything i've been praying for this few days! It's not smthg very selfless but it IS something i feel i need right now.
1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
Selah
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.
6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.
7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
9 O LORD, save the king!
Answer us when we call!
12:04 a.m.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
I had a strange dream last night. Perhaps it's bcos i have wondered whether i've made the right decision in majoring in math in NUS, for now at least, my first year.. perhaps cos it leads up to 4yrs. but i dreamt that i was lying on my bed and someone asked me why i'm doing math? and that i shouldn't be.. it seemed to be shouting to me to do arts. and then bcos of that.. energy/furiosity (is there such a word?) so i said okay i won't... and then this heaviness came over my chest, the kind that presses down on u. but i'm quite sure it was a dream. anw, both parts seem to contradict each other. haha. right now i don't feel any particular enmity towards doing math! shall continue doing so.
09:50 a.m.
Monday, August 21, 2006
it's the start of my 2nd week in nus. my first week was qt alright at first, but after a wonderful weekend (from friday to sunday) it seemed even better. Jesus makes all things good. the only thing is that after the long weekend, i seem to be developing a cold, and that's making me tired.. haha. perhaps i should have cut down one of those long days haha. but well, tuesday's almost here and yea, tho it's a long day again but it'll be enjoyable still. but thru my days there're always momentary lapses. like when i came home at.. 1015 last night and my mum sort of scolded me, saying that had to go to sch in the nxt day and shouldn't have stayed out late.. i was qt irritated by that la, and kinda aggravated it by taking a long time to reply her. but things are almost fine now.. yep.
ah. thank you Jesus that you bore my sickness on the cross, i am healed.. tho i feel weak now but it's so gd to look to You for my strength and everything i need. in every situation, You lift my burdens and fill me with Your shalom peace and joy.
k, shall go retire to my bed now..
11:05 p.m.
Friday, August 11, 2006
nxt week will be my first week for lectures at NUS! after a long long break of not studying, books seem interesting now. this morning, went to michelle's room at eusoff hall, i took a really long time choosing my last module.. cos it got outbidded in the earlier round and not many are available now, that suit the timetable i want. but praise the Lord yes, finally! got one that's gd haha. only thing is the exam is on the same day as another.. morning and evening. but hmm that'll come later.
wuhui's bday surprise was today! cos her bday's only nxt week hahaha, so today's the surprise. did many many silly things. hiding in the cupboard! um. her surprise note and a photoframe.. the note was ultra silly too. we pasted a pic of me and mich together (our heads only) above the body of the witch from bewitched! in cartoon form. colourful n cute. and n oreo cheesecake to go too.
i'm using my new laptop now. for some reason suddenly it's unable to make a wireless connection... it used to do so until this evening! how?? hope to find a way soon.
10:29 p.m.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
God above all my hopes and fears
And I don't care what the world throws at me now
I'm gonna be alright
Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me
Salvation is here
01:44 p.m.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Speak out to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, offering praise with voices [and instruments] and making melody with all your heart to the Lord,
I was just reading Ephesians 5 just now. I've heard it before but have forgotten how we offer praise with our voices and instruments..even outside of worship. though i think here it may mean with other people, since it says 'speak out to one another'. I've not really rmbed that.. i think of the words, but i've forgotten abt the music. And alone, as I play by myself.. all sorts of tunes, many times i don't think of it being related to God. but it says here that we offer praise with that. That as I sit before my piano and play a tune no matter what it is, that it shall be a praise to the Lord.
and it says, 'making melody with all your heart to the Lord'. in the NIV version, it says 'Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord'. I'd previously mentioned how songs keep springing up from inside me.. and i realised not only when i've nothing to do, but even when i'm doing something! for instance, yest as i was walking home from the mrt station and listening to a sermon.. i was really listening to all the words, then the song 'how great thou art' (michael battersby version) springs up in my head again. i was like ..aww, again! it can't stop. but well it says sing and make music IN your heart. since this song is like coming from within me, so i guess i'll just give it to the Lord. now how do i do that, to multi-task listening to a sermon and thinking/focusing on this song at the same time??
09:37 a.m.
Monday, July 10, 2006
these days when i'm without any mp3 player or noise directed to me ard, there're two things.
one, i'm blank.. totally blank. not sure what to thing. unless there is a particular matter that happened recently.
two, this song 'how great thou art'(the michael battersby version) just pops in and resides in my head for ages and ages. and i can't get it out. the saxophone. that high part. i've been meaning to go listen and play it out, to try imitate the entire song and its chord progression, but haven't really got down to it. when i sit in front of the kybrd i'll be just lazy to go get my mp3 player haha. but still think i should do it soon. maybe then will it stop bombarding my mind.
anws berklee results are out! i didn't get the scholarship. rather disappointed since i've put qt a lot of my hope on going there.. but a few days have passed and i'm qt alright. i think like jiahao said, somehow ur spirit inside you has life and peace and rest still, cos this is where i'm supposed to be in this season of my life. so no worries, my life is still in God's hands.. the God who's able to do abundantly and exceeding all we could ever hope or dream of. i'm blessed!
12:00 p.m.
Monday, July 10, 2006
these days when i'm without any mp3 player or noise directed to me ard, there're two things. one, i'm blank.. totally blank. not sure what to thing. unless there is a particular matter that happened recently. or this song 'how great thou art', the michael battersby version, just pops in and resides in my head for ages and ages. and i can't get it out. the saxophone. that high part. i've been meaning to go listen and play it out, to try imitate the entire song and its chord progression, but haven't really got down to it. when i sit in front of the kybrd i'll be just lazy to go get my mp3 player haha. but still think i should do it soon. maybe then will it stop bombarding my mind.
anws berklee results are out! i didn't get the scholarship. rather disappointed since i've put qt a lot of my hope on going there.. but a few days have passed and i'm qt alright. i think like jiahao said, somehow ur spirit inside you has life and peace and rest still, cos this is where i'm supposed to be in this season of my life. so no worries, my life is still in God's hands.. the God who's able to do abundantly and exceeding all we could ever hope or dream of. I wun be entertaining thoughts of being 'loser' no more, yes-sir-ree.
12:00 p.m.
Thursday, July 6, 2006
Josh Groban's Song: Believe, from the polar express. they may or mayn't have known it but when i heard the chorus on the way home, it was like Jesus speaking to me:
hear the melody that's playing.
There's no time to waste,
there's so much to celebrate.
Believe in what you feel inside,
And give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need,
If you just believe.
the last two lines esp. isn't it great? we have everything we need in Him.
05:19 p.m.
Wednesday, July 5, 2006
haven't been updating in a long while. right now i'm at the office, but there isn't any work so i'm free!
i just sent an email to mirek in berklee, letting him noe that the results are important to me and i need asap! it's already july, i just realised. hai. they're taking such a long time to release the results. but oh well. if it's for my sake that they're delaying it, then that's gd =) my God is there in the midst of their discussion to supply me with everything i need!
papa, mama, gu jie (irene) and the grand aunts came over last night. it was really gd to see them, after such a long time, i was a bit hesitant at first, as in, not knowing what to say. but after a while it was great, there's this comfortable feeling and they're really nice. papa's qt funny to me, the way he talks. (he's a general or smthg in the army n he talks the same way to all of us, it's in him.) gu jie shared with me abt her study trip to sydney and opened my eyes to a lot of things i hadn't thought of b4, mainly security issues. getting a place and finding the right pple to be near you, to share a place with and that sort. i hadn't really thought abt the details yet, was just waiting for the results, but this was really useful, esp if i would be there alone most of the time.
hmm. just came back from hk last friday, my trip with mich and boo. mich's dad had gone there too, he piloted the plane on our trip to hk. it was mostly shopping.. we shopped from day to night till EVERY SINGLE night my legs would be terribly terribly sore... but this went on everyday, so when i came back, my legs took a while to recover fully. also went to disneyland and oceanpark. disneyland was wonderful. when u step in, immediately disney music greets u, and all those arrangements r so fantastic, i've nv heard them before and i think they're not really released commonly. orchestras and jazz and bigbands, ahh wonderful. the rides were fun, long queues were cut short by fast passes. the jungle raft cruise was interesting too, by the funny commentator, 'hippos' spraying water on us and this huge splash which REALLY made us wet.
the day we went to ocean park, it rained.thank God for ponchos! we got them there and it was qt fun to wear it actually. i wore a new skirt i'd bought in hk, not a smart choice as i didn't wear shorts under.. all the rides were fine except ONE,the go kart, as the seat was near ground, so getting into it decently was difficult. and not v successful. the gokart boss was an american i think. really really nice, sociable and helpful and funny. we were the last ones to sit it before they closed so we got to take pics with them. only thing one other guy working there made us feel a bit uncomfortable, the way he looked at us... ugh. esp when my skirt flew (the car moved fast) and i hurriedly pushed it down again. lolz. but it was really fun.
12:19 p.m.
Friday, June 23, 2006
You should pick your Funny Friend
The Just Between Friends Test
Brought to you by Tickle
You are so strong
You are so mighty
My God You are so big
You are so strong
You are so mighty
There is nothing You can't do
There is nothing You can't do
You are my God
You're living in me
You are the hero in me
10:59 p.m.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
taken from today's daily devotional ..
God sees reality like no one else sees it. He sees the perfection of His Son’s finished work in your life. By one offering of Himself at the cross, Jesus has perfected you forever! (Hebrew 10:14) You have been made the righteousness of God in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21) And you will never find any spot in this righteousness that Jesus died to give you.
So God wants you to see yourself righteous ?all fair and no spot in Christ. Every day, be conscious of your righteousness in Christ. Say, “I am the righteousness of God in Christ! There is no spot in me whom He has perfected with His blood!?When you do that, you are honouring Jesus and His finished work.
If you are conscious of your sins, then you are not honouring the work of Christ. You may think that you are being humble or holy by being sin-conscious, but do you know that the Bible calls sin-consciousness an “evil conscience?#63;
Hebrews 10:21?2 tells us that since we have Jesus as our High Priest, “let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience? What does the writer of Hebrews mean by “an evil conscience?#63; If you read the beginning of the same chapter, you will find that he is talking about a “consciousness of sins? (Hebrew 10:2) Timothy calls it a “conscience seared with a hot iron? (1 Timothy 4:2) The Greek word for “seared?here is kauteriazo. According to Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, kauteriazo here refers to people who “carry about with them the perpetual consciousness of sin?
So don’t carry with you an evil or seared conscience. Your lifetime of sins has already been punished fully in the body of Jesus. Be conscious, instead, of your perfection and righteousness in Christ. Because of what Jesus has done for you, you can boldly declare, “I am all fair, and there is no spot in me!
12:15 p.m.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
i'm a bit of a fix.. i'm now working every weekday from 830 to 530pm.. wed and friday nights will be reserved for my band prac and piano lesson. so how do i slot in tuition for steven, who's just come back from taiwan?? he used to have it every day, it's certainly not possible now.. cos his aunt wanted to start tuition this coming week, that is, tmr. which i have plans for every single night so far except tues night. hahaha. i hope she'll be fine with that, just one lesson instead of five for this week.
10:01 p.m.
Friday, June 16, 2006
just finished watching this jazz dvd i borrowed from the esplanade. it's called episode three, our language. it's so inspiring! this documentary-movie tells abt the lives and rise of some of the big big jazz pple in the 1920s onwards.. and introduces a lot of the outstanding and influential songs. i've got a list of pple i wanna hear more abt now:
. louis armstrong
. bix beiderbecke (the first white jazz trumpeteer)
. jelly roll morton, who was the first to arrange and document what they played out. his arrangements to me are like more inclusive of styles before like classical, and the present jazz. the arrangements sounded great. )
. artie shaw. the clarinet never sounded so gd! the way he pulls the sound and everything.. all these pple are brilliant.
. and lastly, diana krall. whom i've just realised is a jazz pianist. i always thought she sang and played the guitar lolz.
inspiring movie. the blues were never this interesting. all these pple are really qt special, and their quality of tone and sound is brilliant.. and they each have their own style of playing, and each sounds gd. just goes to show how jazz isn't fixed.
11:51 p.m.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
i tried out 'God so loved the world.. that He gave'.. on the piano! in 3/4 time. that was in the middle of practising when the phone suddenly rang and i couldn't bang on it loudly anymore.. so did this softer slow song. it turned out great! like after a few min then i decided to go record on my mp3 player.. of course, the first (unrecorded) time was the BEST, the 2nd recorded time was gd too.. but my mother came out and interrupted halfway so after that middle, it sort of died down. and the last most complete and over-long one that i recorded was the worst haha. so i'm using the 2nd one for reference the nxt time i'm playing it. i'm gonna try to edit this wave file using goldwave! to cut out the last part of banging and clanging.
10:53 p.m.
Friday, May 26, 2006
i love apple pie!!! my favourite, mmmm..
| You Are Apple Pie |
 |
| All American Kid |
 |
| You Should Be a Song Writer |
 |
| You Have A Type B Personality |
| You're as laid back as they come... Your baseline mood is calm and level headed Creativity and philosophy tend to be your forte Like a natural sedative, you have a soothing effect on people Friends and family often turn to you first with their problems You have the personality to be a spiritual or psychological guru |
11:13 p.m.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
It's very clear -- our love is here to stay.
Not for a year, but ever and a day
The radio, and the telephone, and the movies that we know,
May just be passing fancies, and in time may go.
But oh, my dear, our love is here to stay.
Together we're going a long, long way.
In time the Rockies may crumble, Gibraltar may tumble --
They're only made of clay.
But our love is here to stay
08:05 p.m.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
ah i'm not in a good mood right now. cos it's a MUST DO for the concert in malaysia, i kind of feel it's a no choice thing. i guess i'll get over it by tmr.
watched high school musical.. very energetic and exciting and colourful. shall watch it again. the leads are extremely pretty and cute.
10:34 p.m.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
came back from KL last week, was there from thurs to sat. my berklee audition was on friday afternoon at icom.. i got a bit of a surprise when i got there cos the school was tiny! just one peach-pink small building. or perhaps there were more behind it but i don't think so. well.. the audition was overall not bad haha. i know when i stepped in there that i was totally not worried or nervous, seriously, praise the Lord.. i did enjoy myself. my first piece was really really great, but the middle of my 2nd piece was a bit bad on the chords.. i hadn't memorised my score and in this particular piano, the score stand was so high up that i wasn't used to it.. and so it was a minor blank out for the middle as i tried to rmb the chords. gd thing it was only a bit.. i hope. sightreading was diferent! but i think it went well. the one that was on my mind for qt some time after audition was the last one.. the improvisation part, in blues! i've nv done it in blues before so i was really hesitant to play, and ended up playing qt little. they'd recorded this music accompaniment on bass, perc and guitar i think. i was supposed to do the impro, on top.. decoration, but i had not much time to think abt it in that time, so... yep.
my interview went really well, i liked the interviewer a lot. these pple are really friendly and nice and warm. anw i'll prob know the results in less than a month.. cos 2 of the auditioning pple were sick for a prolonged period of time, so the audition was first delayed.. now to keep it going, they'd decided to record it on video and send it back to decide together.
i rmb leaving the place still alright, in a good mood. it was perhaps bcos the interviewer said that since i got into the fall(sept) semester, i must be pretty good, bcos only 30% of the pple who applied got in for that sem! it was the toughest competition they'd ever had. i know favour is upon me.. the truth is that i AM a beloved child of the most High, and i know God is so much bigger than me, than the professors, than the pple making decisions. He'll put me where it best fits me for my season. Yet this feeling is beginning to come to me as i heard abt two other pple who were present for the audition. they were fantastic! i think whenever u compare urself to others.. it's just rather demoralising haha. the feeling of not being as good as the others, and so the judges would choose them over me, of course. But i really want to get into that school =) before, i was still undecided, unsure if it was what i really wanted, but this desire has grown in the past week or so. as i mentioned to rachel last night, if i do get this scholarship, it's really due to the favour of God!!! there would be no other reason except that He loves me and this is His plan for me. =)
lately the topic on submission has been speaking out to me.. i was first reminded of it while reading the may issue of the solid rock! (The mother's day issue, abt wives submitting to their husbands.) then when i opened my bible the other night, it was to that page on submission. and these thoughts have been going thru my mind for qt some time too haha. Submit to pple of authority ard you as you would submit to the Lord, and like Jesus, you'll gain wisdom and favour. like Sarah, your youth will be renewed. (this is so true. whenever i see my mum and see her so youthful looking, i know it's bcos she has been submissive to my dad in so many issues over the years, even when she doesn't like it or agree with him. but now i see that youthfulness of looks in her, and the favour that she's got with my dad.. like sometimes he'll call her from work just to talk to her haha. and they go for dates sometimes too.)
this time there's an opportunity for me to learn how to submit. it's esp difficult for me with my family, my dad. I have honestly not been submissive to him in a lot of areas.. sometimes he's a bit over the top and i don't understand why he won't allow certain things so i just go ahead. other times i may do things that he asks me to do but with bad grace. that's for every day stuff, from now i will try to rmb this principle and apply it in all things haha.
okay going back to the opportunity. aunt hong's having a concert for all her students in m'sia on 1june. she wants me to be the english emcee and to play some songs, and to accompany the choir at the end as they sing 'if we hold on together'. i wouldn't mind doing it if not for two impt things to me: 1stly, my piano lesson is the following day and it's really difficult to change.. moreover my piano exam is coming really soon and i've already missed the last two weeks of it due to vesak day and my berklee audition. 2ndly, i'm scheduled to play for dare that saturday! i will probably be able to make it on that sat if i come back on fri, but since the concert's on thurs, i'll probably miss the practice on wed night. this will probably be the only time i get to play in the 4 weeks of June, so i was looking forward to it. The thing is, my dad will do like.. ANYTHING for his familiy, even if it inconveniences us a lot. in many other more important areas than this one. sometimes he gives me a hard time on allowing me to do other stuff, eg. lending my kyboard to my sch concert.. but he easily allows them to borrow it, when it's a drive all the way to malaysia! the big problem would be bringing it home.. i think we would probably have to rest it on our laps on the 4hr trip home. It's good in the sense that he loves his family like this, but i feel that they sometimes take advntage of it.
10:31 a.m.